You flirt with history but do not employ it. There are many instances of actual slaves—from antiquity to the Antebellum South—who were in literal chains but but never let their spirit get crushed. It was this strength that led them out of bondage.

You, sir, are nothing more than a slave to self-pity.

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Editor, Humungus. I won two James Beard Awards once for an essay about Taco Bell. Let’s be friends.

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