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Thoughts On ‘Cringe’
I like being uncool too much to stop now
There are two old ages, and during the first old age, you will worry about being “out of touch” with the younger generation. If this is you, you might find yourself—after some research—peppering your vocabulary with slang popular with folks who have nice skin, heads full of hair, and are rich with tomorrows, even if the future is bleak for everyone these days.
I want you to consider not caring what anyone of any age thinks or says. This is the only perk of your second old age, the “golden years,” so-called because of incontinence. The elderly enjoy the knowledge that all the shit that seems so important now is not important at all. I’m suggesting you embrace this attitude early.
The first old age doesn’t exist, though it will feel like it does. We tell ourselves we’re old every birthday; that’s what that birthdays are for. Ritualized self-torture. Life is hard enough, yet we must tell ourselves annoying little lies and then believe them.
It is quite normal for a thirty-five-year-old to feel old. I felt old at twenty-five. You are not old at those ages. Forty isn’t old, either. It’s older. There are things you should figure out by forty, like taxes and flossing.
