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Small, Quiet, Personal Predictions For 2024

New year, new trends, new me

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  1. I make the same prediction every January: this will be my year.
  2. This will also be your year
  3. 2024 will be our year
  4. I predict the return of scooters
  5. The spork will be taken seriously
  6. I do not know who will be elected president, but I will buy a new pair of compression socks for my next plane trip (March? I hope.)
  7. Lots of folk will get into telescopes, space exploration, NASA mission live feeds, etc.
  8. The Paris 2024 Summer Olympics will be très magnifique
  9. I predict an unexplainable surge in the popularity of Rice Krispies Treats™
  10. I will buy a hammock in the late spring
  11. Softly babbling creeks will continue to be the best thing about a summertime walk in the woods
  12. 2023: high-five. 2024: down low
  13. I predict the sudden return of hat doffing
  14. The “long sigh” will continue to be the most popular way to express both frustration and deep relaxation
  15. Ginger tea. It’s going to be big.
  16. Who’s your favorite Greek God or Goddess? You gotta know in 2024!
  17. Power moves: the C-suite will all play with slinkies on important Zooms.
  18. I will officially quit social media. I will also re-join social media.
  19. Investment Ideas 2024: canned soup, inflatable rafts, glue
  20. I predict Gen Z will discover the pleasures of landlines
  21. Pillows. Everyone will get a third one they can put between their thighs when they sleep on their side
  22. Fresh dill. On everything. Eggs, salads, egg salad. You read it here first.
  23. I am not an economist or a scientist, or a wizard. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. But I have faith in kindness.
  24. Buy a disco ball now. Trust me.
  25. I predict a year of pretty birds singing you pretty songs. Thank them. Out loud. “Thank you, pretty bird, for your…

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John DeVore

I created Humungus, a blog about pop culture, politics, and feelings. Support the madness: https://johndevore.medium.com/subscribe