Bye-bye, my love, goodbye. — Three and a half years ago, I pitched Medium an idea for a publication that they greenlit and co-produced. I called it Humungus. I was the editor. I wanted Humungus to be a conversation about masculinity and pop culture written by and for anyone who identifies as a man or…

Just a few words for the fellas — I once smoked a cocaine-laced joint with an ex-con whose arms were decorated with white supremacist tattoos because, like a beggar, addicts can’t be choosers, so I puffed away as he gave me the only concrete advice I’ve ever been given about masculinity: “You’re not a real man unless you’ve…

9 weeks in 2020. 12 essays. Covid-19. — Hi. My name is John. This collection is possible because of the support of Medium subscribers. Thanks to them, I’m able to write weekly essays about pop culture, politics, and feelings. If you’d like to learn more, click here. Prologue: December 19th, 2021 When I first heard this joke, it was about a Jewish…

Let my corporate trauma help you — I’ve been laid off six times and learned a few things. For instance: getting laid off happens. When I was younger, I thought jobs were strictly binary situations, you were either hired or fired. I imagined my worst-case career scenario looked like my boss screaming, “you’re fired!” but there was…

But it isn’t, my dudes. Which is too bad… — I am a straight cis man who is also a devout follower of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I am not a drag queen, but if I were, my name would be ‘John DezVous.’ No one asked, but here’s a short list of my five favorite queens from Drag Race: At number…

It’s all about the Dahl-er bills, y’all — I have found myself on one side of a controversy I sincerely tried to avoid, but the outrage surrounding it is inescapable, even weeks later. I’m not even certain it’s a true controversy, it’s more like a marketing campaign that increasingly reminds me of that old chestnut about pornography: I…

A brief history of my relationship with one of my favorite sandwiches — Americans talk funny. We don’t think we do, but we do. We’re usually too busy talking at or over, or directly through each other to notice. Every so often, though, we stop long enough to listen to one another and then laugh and point. The middle-aged Persian woman I hired…

It is best to just surrender — I used the dating app Tinder once, a long time ago. People who write about dating apps are either proud about never using them or are addicted to swiping past photo after photo of available singles who are DTF, which is an acronym that means “down to fuck.” …