100% HUMAN-GENERATED CONTENT
50 Things I’ve Learned During The Last 50 Years
It’s my birthday, and I have some thoughts to share
If, as French novelist Victor Hugo wrote, forty is the “old age of youth,’ then fifty is “old age. "Not ‘very old age,’ just regular, garden-variety ‘old age.’ It is also the age I am turning today. I am not someone who dreads his birthday. I will celebrate mine like always: eating a vanilla funfetti sheet cake with family. But this particular birthday does feel momentous — more so than any I’ve had since, maybe, my 21st? I am 50 years old. I am old. Creaky. There are so many things I do not understand about life. But I also sincerely believe I have learned a few things during the last five decades that I would like to share with the internet, as is my habit. Please feel free to wish me happy birthday in the comments — even if you’re a bot.
1. No matter how old you are, it’s always a good idea to moisturize.
2. I used to think I only had two emotions: anger and pasta. As it turns out, I have all the emotions in large quantities, but I am not very good at expressing them. This takes practice, courage — and therapy — but cultivating the ability to tell your loved ones where you’re at with your feelings is worth the work.
