Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash


34 Tips For Surviving Right Now

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I have some advice

16 min readFeb 15, 2024


I spend a lot of time watching survivalists on TikTok. I am mesmerized by skills I do not possess and likely never will. I will starve to death during the post-apocalypse because my microwave won’t work. I am slow-walking, loud-screaming Grizzly bear bait.

But while I don’t know how to make a fire, build a shelter out of branches, or cook a fish I caught with my hands, I do know how to survive something I like to call “modern life.”

And, look, modern life may not be as dangerous as a rattlesnake in a sleeping bag, but it’s full of layoffs, political screaming, and social media suffering. I‘d like to hear a prepper’s advice for surviving the holidays with your mom and MSNBC (my advice: loving suggests you change the channel to Turner Classic Movies.)

Do I know how to open a coconut? No. Do I know how to deal with a panic attack sans Xanax? Sort of. Trust me. Here are 34 tips for surviving this wild, stressful moment in history. I stand by every one. I hope they help.

  1. Be A Houseplant: I once had a therapist I didn’t connect with. I knew it, and she knew it. One thing I think that keeps people from going to therapy…



John DeVore

I created Humungus, a blog about pop culture, politics, and feelings. Support the madness: